No regrets

If I have to sum up this week, than first of all two people come to my mind, who I had wished I could help them, but maybe I am not meant to do so, maybe. In one case i feel bad, because I tried do help and it did not chenge, and in one case I feel bad, because I feel I should not do so. I feel a moral dilemmas. I also feel the ability to judge and decide. The poisonous doubt that was always there has gone. My life is mine.

I realized also this week how much more I could have achieved, if I had always had the health that I have now. Don't take me wrong. There is no regrets. Well, there is not much at least. But it made me understand why I feel the need to hang out with the younger crowd. How many times in my life I realised, that the people around me moved on, accelerated the speed with which they embraced their challenges, while I just saw that that speed was too fast for me to live. I understand so many failures now. And I have the certainty about my abilities. A priviledge I think.

Maybe I write too much about how good I feel here. But I used to write all the bad here always until it would not go away. The good deserves its place as well.