How does it feel to be healthy?

The good news: I had 9 days in a row without seeing a doctor. The bad news: it was due to his busy schedule, not because I was any better. We had been in contact over mail though. One mail he had misread to be angry.
"I am not angry, I am just frustrated, don't take it personal." I explained him. "By comments like 'medicine is no mathematics' for example."
"I never said something like this!" he insisted, clearly stating in his voice that he would never even think such a stupid statement.
"No, your boss did." I replied.
He remained silent.

He than shortly came up with a possible diagnosis, but after a short Q&A dropped the idea. That was fast, I thought.

I went out tonight, met a friend and could not enjoy due to pain and illness. I believe in the new drug, but yet nothing good is happening. I feel the illness a bit stronger which is normal.

"How does it feel to be healthy?" I asked the doc this morning. Seriously I cannot judge which state I should hope for. For years I have been fighting little battles every day. Just thought that I am unfortunately facing more hard days than others. Why should I have thought, that what I go through is more than just a little every day annoyance?
I am too tired to write on. I will do later. I write here also, because it makes my efforts tangible to myself. But now I just want to do something, that thanks to my pills I can do much better than in all the past years: sleeping.