10 things telling me that I have been ill for too long

1. I am happy about some medication side effects and sad if they disappear (e. g. hypertension, for the first time in my adult life I do not need 5 cups of coffee a day to stay awake).
2. I am challenging my doctors' opinion and assume, that they might understand my current state, but don't actually know how it feels like
3. I can impress people by putting my illness and state into the right words and attract 20 minutes of full attention
4. I stop calling the hospital because I think to know what they are going to suggest me anyway
   
5. I forgot how it feels to be healthy
   
6. Maybe I am already cured and all the misery that I feel in me is just what people call life
7. Maybe I spend too much time with wishful thinking like the paragraph above
8. I got used to live with feeling my life under threat - almost
9. I am looking for jobs for the near future according to my handicap and not the skills and experience that I bring along from healthy times
10. I am wasting my time writing this kind of lists

In a nutshell: things are getting better very slowly. Today again I hit my limits. The schedule of feeling good or bad has also changed. Now pain happens in the morning, and sometimes goes away towards the night. My body is a building site.

Last but not least a little video dedicated to our neighbors who just followed our country into the mysery. Cordoba was great, but Vienna was not meant to happen. So let's stick to the original - kinda...